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[biblically-accurate-dca]

super disorganized sketch page because i do what i want

[ohsua]

siyeon ✯ kcon germany 2024

[mbat]

i literally read the book of bill days ago but its only now kinda hitting me how fucked ford and bills whole thing was though cause ford literally talks about being so unable to sleep (to try to keep bill away), and when sleep inevitably caught up to him, he would wake up to his body abused and things messed with and he just couldnt seem to find an escape (and he literally didnt get to truly escape until 30 years later)

(also keeping people awake for unhealthily long periods of time is another tactic used to mess with and control people because of how it impairs brain function)

listing off the things we see in those few pages in the book of bill:

i mean, punching and scratching at a steel door for hours would be so damaging to your hands and probably hurt like hell for at least 2 days after. then bill says he was hitting fords head against a wall, though its said in a post-it as if its a joke, but he also isnt exactly above doing that, and honestly he says most things like its a joke.

i also dont need to say 'bill really doesnt know how to take no for an answer' because he makes that very clear in literally any interaction we see with him.

bill literally puts a venomous snake near ford while fords asleep, which could have killed him if he wasnt lucky+skilled enough to deal with it.

he nearly gives ford hypothermia, and in the same action actively threatens ford with the idea of making him jump off of a high spot, and like ford says, doesnt do it just so he can send a message to ford about how hes the one in control.

he gets ford in trouble with not only the law, but also with other people that are probably not very happy with him after. he mutilates fords body in several ways, and i dont think i need to go into detail on them because theyre... so ew. and he even exposes part of fords body to the world. like, its just taking his shirt off, but thats still showing off his body in a way that he didnt agree to or want

and then he attempts to (or purposefully fails to) call stan, using fords voice to threaten suicide and tell stan that ford never loved him.

and he punctuates it with a final power move, in a hallucination that he creates, hes messing with stans memories and making him feel like his body was basically about to implode

and like. okay, we all joke about toxic old man yaoi, and its a good joke and toxic old man yaoi is great and its an interesting ship, but holy fuck.

like. to say the absolute least, that had to be so, so deeply violating. its no wonder that when we see ford in the past, when he finally contacts stan, he looks like hes on the verge of shattering into a million pieces. he just went through, and still wasnt yet out of, some deeply abusive shit.

like... everything coming out lately both in this book and what ive heard is on the website, mixed with what we already knew from the show itself... the stans are both so, so fucking tragic dude. their whole lives were thrown away over things that really didnt even need to be the way they were, and then they both get into situations that are pretty damn screwed, and those situations follow them for the rest of their lives. its basically a miracle that things worked out in the end for them.

i dont really have a point, i just had to talk about all that. i read almost all of the book of bill in one sitting, and while i was really enjoying it, i was also getting kind of tired of sitting in one spot only doing this one thing for several hours straight. i still felt a lot of the emotional bits of it of course, but man this part specifically just really didnt hit me until now.

i mean, to say the absolute least, i know what its like to feel violated in a similar way, though not anywhere near to the extent of what he went through at all. someone get that man some therapy got damn

[sillybouquetoflillies]

i cant sleep so um here u go

[a-usernamelol]

i know i talk big talk about the queerphobia in this fandom but at some point someone remind me to make an in depth analysis post about the ageism in this fandom. I’m not like mad or anything- I like to try to be chill about things, but I swear EVERY time people find out I’m not in my 30s or up I’m looked at completely differently. It’s incredibly fascinating and frustrating because even some of my closest friends in this fandom do it time to time. (No hate ofc usually when I point it out it gets corrected) but it’s absolutely fascinating to me. Is it that RARE for someone to be younger then 30 in this fandom? And if so, WHY does it matter so much when fandom itself is curated by the user? Like. I’m not 8 years old stop treating me like I am. Just because I don’t like reading about dick doesn’t mean I can’t talk about it.

I’m 20. By the way. In America. I’m not even old enough to drink legally in my state.

Again, not a hate post. More of a “oof this is tiring bro” post. I’m REALLY tired of it but like. What can I do? You don’t like that I’m not in my thirties? Block me I guess. I’m still here man

Also, genuinely curious of someone has an answer: is it actually that shocking for someone to be a young adult in this fandom, or even a teenager or hell, a child? I’m very curious WHY there’s always a double take when I bring up my age, and WHY people generally treat me a little- shall I say- “dumber”- like I have less understanding of the world.

it both frustrates me and fascinates me to no end, really.

[mafufuu-2-with-cheese]

i lived

[autisticlee]

that feeling when you get advice from someone who you know is well-meaning and has good intentions....but it's just the most allistic, neurotypical, and/or abled advice you have ever heard and completely invalidates the point you're trying to make about why you struggle to do the thing in the first place.

they're telling you to "do it in this specific way that is completely opposite of how you physically/mentally work" for example, make eye contact/read people's facial expressions and intentions! but you're autistic. initiate verbal conversation and don't be shy! but you're nonverbal or semispeaking. get out of the house more and participate in these physical activities! but you're physically disabled. Just Be Yourself! but you have DID/OSDD/other personality disorder. etc.

i'm sorry. I know you're just trying to help. I appreciate it, really. but it's all things i've heard before and none of it helps me specifically. I have tried (maybe even still try out of habit) and learned I can't just do those things. they don't work for me or cause more issues. practice isn't the issue. not everyone can simply willpower through everything. but thanks for trying 😔✊️

[monmuses]

What sad planet analogy are you?

Neptune is drifting away from the solar system

You're tired of everything, you are so sick of everyone around you and nothing makes you feel better anymore. You don't find worth in staying this way, you want to leave everything, to go somewhere very far away where nobody knows your name, and maybe then you could finally be free.

tagged by: @multiverse-swampy (thnx :3) tagging: @the-expatriate @champiionic @stellevatum @general-kalani and you! steal it from me

[acaciapines]

guys what if i told you ive been thinking about dess and actually i think dess/chara might be able to work out in the drkau...like ive been doing some thinking into dess and her reasons and why she does what she does and how she cares about people and im starting to nail down the role i want asriel to play, and. and.

guys i think dess is actually going to be able to change. i think dess figures out how to change but asriel never does....

[elisedonut]

Stacy's brother Au

but it's just a crack au where Ginny "loses" like 4 bfs in a row to her brothers just to realize she doesn't even like boys

[mithomite]

had the most braindead repetitive conversation/argument with my parents. buzz cuts are too masculine but if you dye a design on it it become effeminate which is bad because then you look weak and if youre weak then society falls apart (all societies ever that have fallen apart for any reason are actually because of feminine men) and we start sacrificing babies. and also all mental illness is invented because only 4 people had anxiety in the 90s and covid was made up so that we would all become gay and trans and then the government can control us better and be joe biden's little sex slaves. and also i need to keep my hair long because my father finds it attractive. what

[mysticwolfentertainment]

Hello Internet, Welcome to Mystic Wolf Entertainment!

This is a call from your friendly neiborhood digital artist to ask, hey!! If your a Hazbin Hotel fan, gimme things YOU wanna see ME draw!!

That's right! For a limited time only! I will draw (almost) whatever hazbin related thing YOU WANNA SEE!!

((the art block is coming at me fast, please send help!))

[catominor]

oh also heres my little guys / story spotify playlist.. its kind of disjointed as in the songs represent different character perspectives / sometimes just general story vibes tbh

[macabre-crab]

pov im showing you my new ""poly"" ship that is totally not like any of the other poly ships i have

[just-eyris-things]

Vent post. Because i feel like kicking a hornets' nest.

Honestly im just tired of how people will call someone ignorant/uneducated and will go for the throat for every little thing, while they themselves say shit like pierogis all the time. If you're going to point fingers at others, you yourself should be without fault.

The question is... can you?

[djarinova]

i had such a successful day today omgg ˃ᴗ˂ i dyed my hair, the jeans i ordered on thurs came and they fit me perfectly and i did some writing!! and to top it all off me and my boyfriend got takeaway pizza for dinner!! tehe